I coach women to make positive life change. I do this through nutrition, movement and mindset. The nutrition and movement elements are super important, but once we get through the initial education phase, it’s more about accountability, motivation and ensuring my clients are supported on their journey. Where it gets really interesting is the work around mindset, and in particular, self-worth.

The hard truth is, there is a confidence gap between men and women. Us women are amazing at so many things but apparently knowing that we are worth it (whatever “it” means for you right now), is not one of our strong points.

Men are not exempt from self-doubt, but they tend to be better at faking their way through it;

(Men) don’t let their doubts stop them as often as women do. A Hewlett Packard internal report found that men apply for a job or promotion when they meet only 60% of the qualifications, but women apply only if they meet 100% of them. What doomed them was not their actual ability, but rather the decision not to try — Jack Zenger

So how do we go about truly and deeply understand that we are worthy of giving it a try? Maybe it’s about thinking positively for awhile? Or creating a vision-board for what we want to achieve? Or perhaps saying our daily affirmations? I think that these things are really important, but it is more important to look even deeper.

Real change comes when you know on a subconscious level that you are completely and utterly worthy of the change, and completely and utterly worthy of being the version of yourself that will emerge on the other side.

No amount of positive thinking will get you your house on the hill, the 3 inches off your waist, the new career if you don’t truly believe you are worth it. No amount of ‘I think I can’ will enable any sort of significant change.

If you have the conversation, make the call, take the step, move in the new direction but don’t fully believe that you are strong enough, good enough, slim enough, funny enough, smart enough, capable enough to make the change, then it won’t stick.  However, if you move towards your goals with an inner, quiet confidence, if you have done the deep work to truly understand that you are worthy of this change, then you will fly. You will become so magnetic and move so fast in this direction that you will wonder how you were ever anything but.

Doing the deeper work can be confronting, but it is also so empowering.

So I encourage you to take a moment to step back and answer this question honestly – what is it you are looking to change and do you truly believe you are worth it? Do you believe that you are an incredible, wonderful, inspiring human being that’s about to rock it? Do you understand on a deep, subconscious level that you’ve totally got this? If not, now is the time to do something about it because the truth is that you are totally and completely worth it — you just need to find a way to believe it.

Image: Dylan Galletly + Bas van Est